Which New Year’s resolution are you going to fuck up first?
Only dating men over 18 years old. Already changed that to over 21 years old so they can buy me a drink.
A meteor hit the earth and wiped out the entire population, except for you and the 2008 presidential hopefuls. You know what I’m going to ask. Come on. Repopulation depends on you.
Even though Hillary Clinton is more of a man than anyone else in the race, I would choose John Edwards, since he has powerful sperm and psychic abilities to cross over and talk to all the dead people.
Dick Clark: robot or alien?
Or pioneer. I believe that Dick Clark was the first ever plastic-surgery patient in the United States, back in the early 1800s.
What’s your position on positions?
Experiment, experiment, experiment, baby!
SUSAN ALEXANDER | “5 Funny Females” at the Midway Café, Jamaica Plain | January 26 at 8 pm | $15 | 617.524.9038 orwww.5funnyfemales.com
Related:
- Lowering the bar
New standards for lawyers? We don’t need no stinkin’ standards!
- Seven for seven
What’s news in the New Year? Plan on these stories dominating Boston’s media landscape.
- Trapped in Iraq
After suffering through the Petraeus hearings, it’s time for Congress to take responsibility for our sinkhole war.
- More
Topics:
Comedy
, Dick Clark
, Elections and Voting
, Politics
, More
, Dick Clark
, Elections and Voting
, Politics
, U.S. Politics
, U.S. Presidential Election
, John Edwards (Politician)
, Hillary Clinton
, Susan Alexander
, Less 
