As Campaign Mounts To "Turn Off Fox," I Begin To Miss Eating Pizza with Megyn Kelly on my Lunch Break

As I swallowed my daily afternoon Fox News broadcast along with two slices from my go-to pizza joint, I got to thinking about the Color of Change-sponsored Turn Off Fox campaign, which is rallying liberals (and other thinking folks who oppose hack journalism) to help “reduce Fox's ability to poison our political conversations and divide our country.” Their tactic: ask small business owners to change the station.

Don't get your latte in a bubble over freedom-of-expression issues. Nobody's demanding that restaurants turn off Hannity; they're just organizing to approach and punish businesses for being unenlightened. With that said – I'm a bit concerned for activists in less-than-blue states. Somehow I don't think this pitch (found here under “instructions”) stands a chance at many truck stops, or at the Tank-n-Tummy off I-95 in South Carolina:

Ask to speak with the manager or the person who seems to have authority over the TV (or TVs).

Introduce yourself and explain your purpose: Hi, I’m [your name]. I’ve noticed that Fox News Channel is often playing on the television(s) you have. We believe that network is doing a disservice to the public because its anchors and guests consistently distort the truth, incite distrust around race and divide our country. We’re asking businesses in this area that have TVs to not play Fox. What do you think? Are you willing to turn off Fox?

If the person says ‘no’ or that they’re unsure, ask whether they would be compelled if you and others organized lots of people in the community to patronize their business if they turned off Fox News.

While I have tremendous respect for Color of Change – and completely understand why they smack Fox as much as possible – I question the prudence of sending people on these suicide missions. For what? If someone is numb enough to be persuaded by a Fox News report – whether they know what they're watching, or not – then they either don't vote, or they vote Republican/Tea Party anyway. Plus – it's hard to deny that this offensive gives conservative babies more reasons to cry.

Maybe I'm just an anomalous semi-conscious hornball who on one hand enjoys the diligent vetting done by Media Matters, and on the other likes to ogle Megyn Kelly on my lunch break. (It's not just that she's an incredibly hot bimbo; it's the way she smirks when she says, “Bad news for President Obama...”) Also; without my daily shot of Fox, how would I know that the government wants the password to my BlackBerry, and that the UN either is (or isn't) communicating with extraterrestrials?

Of course I find Fox reprehensible. But I also find it entertaining. What with their fabricated stories, porn star reporters, and hyper-religious deference, it's kind of like CMT, the Spice Network, and Comedy Central wrapped up in a urine-soaked copy of the Weekly World News. And I can't live without it! Still, if you want to make a difference, and risk your life in the process, then by all means blackmail your local small business owner into pulling the plug. Just leave my pizzeria out of it.