WW III: Scientology and Cruise vs. Germany

Last week, nine extras were injured on the set of the new Bryan Singer-directed movie, Valkyrie, starring Tom Cruise as the Nazi officer who attempted to assassinate Hitler. The extras received only slight injuries--minor bruises and scrapes--when a side panel broke off the truck, slinging them out. They have hired a lawyer and are threatening to sue United Artists for exhibiting "inhuman indifference" to their health unless "rapidly compensated."

Not to make light of the extras' injuries (one even had to stay at the hospital overnight for observation) but the real gem of this story is that we all have a reason to laugh at Tom Cruise, yet again. In late June, the German Defense Ministry barred Singer, Cruise and crew from shooting Valkyrie on military sites. Their reason was Cruise's adherence to Scientology. Defense Ministry spokesman Harald Kammerbauer stated that they "will not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology cult." Kammerbauer went on to declare Scientology a "momeymaking cult" and decried it as an illegitimate church.

Sure nearly everyone dislikes Scientology, and no one really considers it a legitimate church but without Scientology we wouldn't have "Trapped in the Closet," possibly the funniest South Park episode ever. Furthermore, isn't the German government's intolerance of Scientology at least slightly akin to Hitler's anti-semitism? No? Yeah, I guess not. Come on Germany screw those Nazi-loving Scientologists.

--John Smith (David Mashburn)