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Workplace weirdness

Dr. Lovemonkey answers your questions
By DR. LOVEMONKEY  |  December 22, 2010


Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

Some of my co-workers and I have a little problem at out office. One of the people we work with, who has always regarded himself as a real swinging guy, has finally struck gold. For a number of years he would subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) come on to a number of the female workers at the company with no takers. About three months ago, we hired a new woman and she has fallen for "Don" the swinger. It has been reliably reported that they are being "sexually active" in the office in unoccupied rooms and the traditional sounds of sexual passion have been overheard by more than a few workers. While I've been occasionally tempted to turn these two in to management, my better judgement tells me that it is none of my (or my co-workers) business. Any thoughts?


Dear Non-Swinger,

I would agree that your better judgement is your better judgement. But there is the problem that these trysts are pretty much an open secret at the office; that said trysts might be considered a disruption of the workplace is a valid issue and concern. Which is why I would get together with your co-workers who find this behavior annoying and pitch in a few bucks apiece until you have enough to cover the cost of a low-rent motel room. Pay for the room ahead of time and put the receipt in a nice commemorative card with a note suggesting that "Don" and his inamorata get a room from now on. And you can consider yourself incredibly fortunate that it was "traditional sounds of sexual passion" emanating from the unoccupied rooms of your workplace — those "untraditional sounds" can be pretty scary.


Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I recently saw a rather amazing letter in another advice column and I was thinking that if the writer had sent the letter to the esteemed Dr. Lovemonkey, she might have gotten some different advice. The writer explained that where she worked they had a "tradition" that, whenever someone in the office had either secured a new account or exceeded a new sales goal, the boss would bring everybody together into the main lobby and "honor" the sales hero by making him or her dance. The woman in question was mortified. She felt that this was virtually public humiliation and noted that a lot of people are self-conscious about having others watch them dance. I can't say I disagree. The advice to the woman was that she firmly refuse to dance, telling the boss that she did not wish to do so. I thought that you might have a different response?

Dr. Lovemonkey Fan

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey Fan,

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