The Phoenix Network:
About  |  Advertise
Features  |  Reviews

Review: Suck

Alice Cooper, Moby, and Iggy Pop walk into a bar ...
By ALEXANDRA CAVALLO  |  September 2, 2010
2.5 2.5 Stars

Alice Cooper, Moby, and Iggy Pop walk into a bar ... Okay, so Cooper actually tends the bar, Moby performs at the bar, and Iggy Pop gets his throat slashed outside the bar. In any case, trust us, you haven't heard this one before. Unless you've seen Rob Stefaniuk's horror-comedy Suck (not to be confused with Vampires Suck, which, we understand, really does). This blood-soaked camp-fest monopolizes on the media-dominating vampire craze, delivering a none-too-subtle jab to the music industry at the same time.

The premise: a struggling indie band of wannabe rock stars, the Winners, just can't seem to catch a break. Their manager (played by Dave Foley, who also happens to be in Vampires Suck) quits; nobody seems to get their unique artistic vision; and in lieu of a tour bus, they have to lug their equipment around in a rickety old hearse. Plus, they're Canadian. Things are pretty bleak. The Winners are one bad gig away from applying to Home Depot when their bassist, Jennifer (Jessica Paré), has a one-night stand with a vamp named Queeny (played with ridiculous flamboyancy by Dimitri Coats of the hardcore band Burning Bridges). And suddenly the Winners are topping the pop charts.

The film's winking acknowledgment of the lengths bands will go to to make it in an ever-more commercialized industry (as acted out by a slew of music-biz vets) comes through loud and clear without becoming overly preachy. Indeed, there's no need to take this movie too seriously, because the filmmakers certainly don't. Suck would much rather get silly than shrill: here, groupies serve as post-show snack, Henry Rollins cameos as a sex-crazed radio personality who gets eaten on-air, and Moby plays a rock star named "Beef" (get it? dude's a vegan) who dies looking for a good blowjob. "You ate Beef?" the Winners' simple-minded drummer asks Jennifer in dismay. She did.

True, you won't come much away from this spoof with more than few laughs and a new appreciation for Alice Cooper's acting chops (though, let's be honest, he doesn't have to try very hard to look undead), but I'd still take Suck over Twilight any day. For me, Iggy sums it all up in these words of wisdom to a young protégé: "Always use a condom, and never trust a goddamn vampire."

Related: Review: The Twilight Saga: New Moon, Review: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, Simple blood, More more >
  Topics: Reviews , Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop,  More more >
| More
Add Comment
HTML Prohibited

 Friends' Activity   Popular   Most Viewed 
[ 08/13 ]   Boston Symphony Orchestra conducted by Christoph von Dohnányi  @ Tanglewood Music Center, Koussevitzky Music Shed
[ 08/13 ]   "Eric Larivee's Summer Cocktail"  @ Ryles
[ 08/13 ]   Infected Mushroom DJ Set  @ Rise
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   REVIEW: ATROCIOUS  |  August 09, 2011
    When a central character spends enough time looking through the distorting lens of a camera, eventually something very nasty is going to show up.
  •   REVIEW: LIFE, ABOVE ALL  |  August 02, 2011
    A grave, quietly moving coming-of-age tale of a young girl raised in a village where many (her infant sister, in this case) are robbed of the opportunity to come of age at all, Oliver Schmitz's film is told effectively through the sad, wise eyes of the 12-year-old protagonist, Chanda (Khomotso Manyaka).
  •   SILVER SCREENS BY STARLIGHT  |  June 09, 2011
    We all enjoy a good blockbuster. But we hate to waste our all-too-few summer nights cooped up in a cavernous megaplex — we've got approximately seven months of Boston winter to stay indoors.
    It's not uncommon to find young alt bands testing their boundaries on their third albums, exhibiting growth through darker material and more-complex lyricism.
  •   REVIEW: RAMMBOCK  |  May 04, 2011
    Marvin Kren's grim foray into the zombie genre (a German first) has all the right components.

 See all articles by: ALEXANDRA CAVALLO

RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed