The Phoenix Network:
 
 
 
About  |  Advertise
Adult  |  Moonsigns  |  Band Guide  |  Blogs  |  In Pictures
 
Media -- Dont Quote Me  |  News Features  |  Talking Politics  |  This Just In

Game on

Our 2006 predictions for New England's teams
By MARK JURKOWITZ  |  January 6, 2006

“Wait till next year.” That plaintive cry — which originated with snake-bitten Brooklyn Dodgers rooters in the 1950s — is now a rallying point for disappointed sports fans everywhere. In Boston, 2005 didn’t bring as many blessings as the previous year, what with the Sox going out early in the playoffs and the Patriots facing incredible adversity and numbing injuries. (Although their season is far from over.)BREAKFAST OF TRAITORS: Think of the endorsements!

While 2006 may not bring the Red Sox another World Series or get more than three people to watch the Bruins on TV, it will be a topsy-turvy year of spills, thrills, and chills. And there is only one thing we know for sure: Manny will be Manny.

A Flag for LA-LA Land
The 2006 baseball season starts out poorly for the Red Sox. Theo Epstein declines another entreaty to rejoin the front office in order to head up the fledging “Kerry ’08” presidential campaign. That breeds trouble when ace pitcher Curt Schilling responds by threatening to retire in order to become press secretary for Mitt Romney’s White House bid. (Schilling is talked out of the move only when WEEI agrees to give him his own weekend show, bumping the likable “Preacher and Teacher” combo of Larry Johnson and Craig Mustard.)

To the disgust of Red Sox Nation, Johnny Damon gets off to a torrid start for the Yankees, finding that short right-field porch to his liking and belting 10 homers in the first month of the season. Soon, he is the toast of the Apple, his clean-cut visage adorning billboards in Times Square. He becomes a regular guest on Imus in the Morning, and begins holding forth on politics with the I-Man’s favorite pundits, Tim Russert and Howard Fineman.

At the same time, Manny Ramirez, whose trade demands cannot be met, grudgingly shows up, but his heart is clearly not in it. In a classic case of “Manny Being Manny,” he spends one entire game inside the Green Monster wall rather than manning his position in left field. Forced to go with only eight defenders on the Fenway diamond, the Sox are mauled by the woeful Devil Rays 27-6. Manager Terry Francona promises to talk to Manny soon about his “unorthodox defensive positioning.”

Given baseball’s tougher policy on performance-enhancing drugs, a number of players enter the 2006 season with that suddenly shrunken Sammy Sosa and Pudge Rodriguez look — claiming, of course, that they “ate better” and hired new personal trainers during the off-season. Barry Bonds returns to the Giants healthy and raring to go. But in a stunning development, Bonds, ensnared in the BALCO case, is arrested by Pac Bell security guards while rounding third base after blasting home run number 714, which would have tied him for second place all time with Babe Ruth. Because he never stepped on home plate, he is officially awarded a triple and remains in third place on the homer list. A shell-shocked Commissioner Bud Selig mutters something about “the integrity of the game.”

1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |   next >
Related: Cheating rules!, Not-so-instant karma, Wild and Crispy, More more >
  Topics: News Features , Mitt Romney, Elections and Voting, New England Patriots,  More more >
  • Share:
  • Share this entry with Facebook
  • Share this entry with Digg
  • Share this entry with Delicious
  • RSS feed
  • Email this article to a friend
  • Print this article
Comments

Today's Event Picks
ARTICLES BY MARK JURKOWITZ
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   HIT MEN  |  October 02, 2008
    At least one passage in Four Kings will get George Kimball cursed out in local bars.  
  •   TABLE MANNERS  |  April 29, 2007
    My first blackjack experience came as a newly minted college grad.
  •   THE AIDS STORY  |  January 05, 2007
    This story originally appeared in the December 9, 1986 issue of the Boston Phoenix .
  •   REALITY TV MEETS THE NEWSROOM  |  June 21, 2006
    Even in an era of buzzwords such as media “transparency” and “interactive dialogue” (between news consumers and news producers), what’s happening at the Spokesman-Review in Spokane, Washington, is pretty strange stuff.
  •   THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING NEWSROOM  |  June 21, 2006
    As the fiscal year ends over at the Boston Herald , there’s serious anxiety at One Herald Square.

 See all articles by: MARK JURKOWITZ

MOST POPULAR
RSS Feed of for the most popular articles
 Most Viewed   Most Emailed 



  |  Sign In  |  Register
 
thePhoenix.com:
Phoenix Media/Communications Group:
TODAY'S FEATURED ADVERTISERS
Copyright © 2009 The Phoenix Media/Communications Group