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Review: Crank: High Voltage

A heartless thrill ride
By CHRIS WANGLER  |  April 21, 2009
0.5 0.5 Stars


VIDEO: The trailer for Crank: High Voltage

Chinese triads. Corey Haim. Porn actors on strike. REO Speedwagon. Yes, the creators of this nearly unwatchable sequel will use anything to achieve their twisted goal: to shock ADHD teenagers to such an extent that they won't fidget with texting devices during the movie. This time around, cockney hitman Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) awakens to find that his "strawberry tart" (i.e., heart) has been removed by bad-ass Asian organ harvesters.

To keep his artificial substitute pumping while tracking down the thieves, he Tasers himself, grabs a power transformer, and bangs his girlfriend (Amy Smart) in the middle of a racetrack. Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the team behind the manic original, are talented only with the camera; writing and directing are afterthoughts.

They swerve away from the story at will, interrupting racist dialogue with blood, misogyny, and softcore porn. The result is comparable to the Grand Theft Auto video-game franchise, but with less plot.

Related: Fallout 3: Operation Anchorage, Review: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, PS3, please, More more >
  Topics: Reviews , Culture and Lifestyle, Games, Hobbies and Pastimes,  More more >
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ARTICLES BY CHRIS WANGLER
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  •   REVIEW: CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE  |  April 21, 2009
    Chinese triads. Corey Haim. Porn actors on strike. REO Speedwagon. Yes, the creators of this nearly unwatchable sequel will use anything to achieve their twisted goal: to shock ADHD teenagers.
  •   REVIEW: SUNSHINE CLEANING  |  March 18, 2009
    What lifts this tasty little dramedy above Sundance mediocrity is a pathos that overcomes all the "quirky" dysfunctional contrivance.
  •   REVIEW: PUSH  |  February 11, 2009
    Teens with special powers? A government conspiracy?
  •   REVIEW: CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA  |  January 13, 2009
    Director Nikhil Advani's quirky Chinese-Indian collaboration is the widest release ever of a Bollywood film, and the first ever kung fu Bollywood comedy.
  •   CADILLAC RECORDS  |  December 12, 2008
    Cadillac Records writer/director Darnell Martin lets the music speak for itself

 See all articles by: CHRIS WANGLER

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