My advice: There are different degrees of assertiveness. If you’re the type who can overwhelm others with your fierce confidence of what you want, you may want to reel that in to give others time to chime in. Don’t get me wrong, KA, being assertive is awesome, (and for women out there who are assertive, keep being assertive!), just ask yourself if you think your dates/sexual partners have the space to say how they feel or what they want. If they don’t, gently nudge them into conversing about their feelings/desires/needs if you have to, which may not be as ‘assertive’ but more casually communicating, just to get some of the clarity you’re needing. And hey, thanks for taking the initiative to ask a question. Very assertive of you.
Sex of Self (my woman’s sexuality workshop series) is running on Saturday, October 25, at Portland Yoga Studio from 11 am to 5 pm. For more information and to sign up online, visit sexofself.com.
In Layman’s Terms is also a podcast! Listen to these and other amazing interviews on SoundCloud at soundcloud.com/in_laymans_terms. Follow me on Instagram at instagram.com/in_laymans_terms_ to see who is giving the advice! Don’t forget to ask a question!—email me firstname.lastname@example.org. Everything is applicable.