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Digital D8ing

In Layman's Terms
By DANA FADEL  |  October 1, 2014

InLaymansTerms_main 

“I’d like to hear other people’s experience in online dating: Tinder, OKCupid, Match.com. I’m hesitant to pursue this but have heard a lot of successful stories. Can you interview people who have tried? Thanks.” _anonymous

“I was completely closed off to the idea of online dating for many years. Then, I created a very sparse profile with very little information about myself. A few months later I saw a profile that was smart, witty, goofy, nerdy, and sweet. I doubted that in real life he could compare to his profile, but I nervously asked him out through OKCupid and tried not to have any expectations. He turned out to transcend his skillfully constructed profile and is a remarkably amazing real-life person, who I have been quite lucky to be with for the last year and a half.”_Sable, 25, student, interviewed at a private event.

“I’ve been online dating for the past few years, and sometimes I go [online] just to see who’s around. For the most part, it’s broadening your spectrum of people to meet, rather than (just) at bars. I meet way less people in bars than online dating. My advice would be to always get to know the person before meeting them and meet them in a place you feel comfortable. I definitely have had way more success online dating than otherwise.” _Lisa, 28, office assistant…

“OKCupid is free; Match.com costs money to use its features. Tinder is awful—‘Hey, I think you’re hot.’—I’ve never met anyone on Tinder.” …and Andy, 26, machine operator, interviewed at Tommy’s Park.

“I haven’t had great success with it, but I’ve only been on it for a couple months. I think Tinder is fucking hilarious, and I use it for entertainment purposes always. The few people I’ve met up with have been extremely interesting. Met up with one person at 1:30 in the morning because I was drunk and it turned out who was this hippy who wanted to get tea and I had to pretend I was sober the entire time.” _Jennifer, 27, server/traveler…

“When I date someone I hate it when they’re on their phone constantly, so why would I want to find someone where that’s already the platform? They’ll make their profile and be really engaged with that, so it’s probably someone I don’t have a lot in common with.”_...and Kate, 29, photographer, interviewed on a group walk from Portland to Old Orchard Beach.

“Hell yes, I think [online dating] is so much fun, even if you don’t put all of your stock in it. When you live in such a small town, it can be intimidating…[I saw] my friend’s ex-husband that came up in a feed. But that happens! Once you get over that, it’s so much fun. When I first went on OKCupid, Matt, my husband, was one of the first people I saw. I was like, ‘Sigh! He’s so cute! That’s just dangerous.’ I was about to quit but I went back and messaged him.”_Beth, 34, graphic designer, interviewed at A Gathering of Stitches.

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ARTICLES BY DANA FADEL
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  •   ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE  |  October 27, 2014
    How can I invite other people’s behavior to be more assertive toward me?”
  •   DIGITAL D8ING  |  October 01, 2014
    “I’d like to hear other people’s experience in online dating: Tinder, OKCupid, Match.com. I’m hesitant to pursue this but have heard a lot of successful stories."
  •   COME ON, NOW  |  August 31, 2014
    “I really love sex and experience enormous pleasure from it. However, my orgasm is subtle and as good as it feels; it’s hard to even say it is a orgasm."
  •   UNAVAILABLE MEN NEED NOT INQUIRE  |  August 06, 2014
    I keep attracting men who are completely unavailable—either married or in failing relationships (as I learn later). They don’t make physical advances, but I definitely get the feeling they are interested. Either way, guys I shouldn’t, wouldn’t, and don’t want to be dating. What am I doing wrong to attract them? And how do I get this pattern to change?”
  •   PORN AND LONELINESS  |  July 07, 2014
     In Layman's Terms

 See all articles by: DANA FADEL



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